1. Guy from Boston:The Grand Canyon is one of the coolest things I've ever seen.
  2. Garcia Lopez de Cardenas:Yeah but you didn't really see it like me because your current understanding of its beauty is driven by the idea that your perception of the canyon has to match or exceed the criteria set by some obscure postcard you've seen of-
  3. Guy from Boston:I came out to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so bedazzled right now
October 16th 6770 via

princessofnerdingham:

And that’s what started the answer sheet genocide of 2014

October 16th 1621 via
  1. me:coughs
  2. teacher:sets answer sheet on fire
October 16th 2183 via
  1. me:[does something well]
  2. mom:good job honey!
  3. me:positive reinforcement is literally so dehumanising i cant believe you would treat me like that youre my mother
October 16th 2108 via
  1. What she says:I'm fine.
  2. What she means:I will never see the grand canyon like Lopez de Cardenas
October 16th 4897 via

mapletheleonberger:

…what have I done?

October 4th 185034 via source

sadspaghetti:

when your mum catches you still on the computer after she told you to go to bed

image

October 4th 105098 via source

acidpunch:

still laughing about yesterday during gender/sexuality studies class when our professor had everyone chant “VAGINA! PENIS! VAGINA!” a few times to make us more comfortable with saying those terms

and this girl just stands up slowly and says “…this… this isn’t math class…”

October 4th 140085 via source

carrot931:

marijuanawatson:

If Geek Girls Acted Like Geek Guys. (x)

brilliant

October 4th 1624 via source

americanfrontier:

oh and when i was a year old, after i got my foot amputated my parents were pushing me around in a stroller at a street festival in miami and i was chewing on my foot or whatever and this street performer came up to us and was like “aw i bet that tastes good!!” and my dad was like “yeah look at what she did to the other one!!!!” and pulled back the blanket covering my left leg to show a stump with a huge scar on it and i’m pretty sure my dad terrified that poor man

October 4th 155431 via source

buttcramps:

simple tips to gain my friendship

  • have a dog
  • show me pictures of your dog
  • invite me over to pet your dog
  • be a dog
  • dog
October 4th 160256 via source

sciencemyfiction:

mvlans:

when someone says something so wrong that really pisses you off but you don’t wanna start an argument so you just sit there like

image

see also: every family outing

October 4th 132200 via source

thirstiest:

nentindo:

hokeyfright:

can the science side of tumblr explain this

image

swag • per • a • tion /swaəgpərashion/

adj. To channel the swagger inside of you and turn it into pure teleportation energy.

i.e. “dude, this party blows, i’m swagperating out of here”

this person wrote a noun, listed it as an adjective, and defined and used it as a verb

October 4th 236033 via source

defractured:

laurenjauregei:

how to be smooth as hell with your crush

im laughing so hard at the “oh. alright” 

September 30th 415101 via source